Say Hello to Goodbye :')

Dear Mr. Mohamed Aidil Adha Bin Sharudian,

There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I'm not sure if you would ever understand because I don't understand half of it. I want to be with you so bad, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt and because of that, I end up getting hurt more. I can sit here and say that I don't care about you and that I'm not going to let you hurt me, and just by saying that I know that you can and have. It’s not your fault, it never is. It’s me. You've always loved her, now I can see that the one in your heart was never me. All of those times, you held me close, it was her that you needed and loved the most. It's hard for me to swallow my pride knowing that my love was the love you denied. When I see you with her, I force a grin but really my heart is breaking within. My love for you is stronger than ever but I know in my heart, we'll never be together. So I'm letting you go now with tears in my eyes, I'm telling you my last and final good-byes. I will miss you. Take care Aidil. Always pray the best for you.

Thanks for everything :')

CRY - Critical Riot Yelling

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on.
When people all stare, I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk.
Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue.
Pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.
If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart.
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart,
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all and act like there's nothing wrong
Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?

L

I'm talking in circles. I'm lying and they know it
Why won't this just all go away?
I’m tired with our memory.

Sometimes I find myself faking a smile just to get through the day.
I smile but deep inside I'm dying. Why can't you see? :'(
“A smiling face doesn't always mean a smiling heart"
#Note that please

Another one ending once again

I’m walking this road alone.

This life seems to be meaningless without his love.

Trying to go back.

To the things I used to do,

But it’s impossible

And all I get is his memories back again.

How should I do.? L
How to forget him and let him go?

I can’t swim, I can’t save myself

From the deepest ocean of loneliness.

SHE

She yells because she cares.

She cries because she’s frustrated.

She smiles out of no where because she’s thinking of you, even if you’re already there.

She scrunches her face because she’s about to explode.

She hits you because she wants to touch you.

She stares at you because she’s infatuated.

She calls every half hour because she misses you.

She lecturers you because she’s boss, not mom.

She kisses you because she wants to.

She asks you a question because she’s curious, not be annoying.

She wants to know where you are to be with you.

She calls just to hear your voice.

She walks beside you to hold your hand.

She sits close to you to lean on your shoulder.

She stands in front of you because she wants a hug.

Truth is, that girl loves you

And you know what baby, it’s me a.k.a Mia

 :’)

Pieces of me

The truth is I get jealous easily because what is mine is mine.

 I’m stubborn as hell, I say sorry too much.

I act like I don’t give a fuck because I care too much.

I over analyze the smallest of things and probably come off as a bitch to guard myself.

I’m the kind of girl that when I cry, I cry.

When I fall for someone, I fall too hard.

People tell me I’m too intense when it comes to emotions.

I’ll do anything to be around you.

I don’t always look perfect and sometimes I get insecure.

And I may have flaws, But I’ll love you better than anyone else could do.

Insyaallah <3

LIFE

As we grow up,

 We learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down probably will.

You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts.

You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them,

 And you’ll cry because time is flying by.

 So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely,

And love like you’ve never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, and no second chances.

You just have to live life to the fullest,

Tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out,

Dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend,

Fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt,

 And smile until your face hurts.

Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all,

 Live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back

No sympathy

I can write my own sad words

I don’t need yours

I am disgusting

My body is deteriorating

I am not beautiful

I am not special

I am no poetic or graceful

But

I have a fucking soul

That is full of empathy and compassion

I have fire it is entirely mine

And it is entirely invisible

O ALLAH

O ALLAH,

If he’s meant for me and I meant for him,

let us be together through ijabkabul.

O ALLAH,

If we are not meant to be together,

Please avoid us from seeing one another.

O ALLAH,

If he’s the right person for me,

Let his iman be the one that I adores

And let him make my way easier to Jannah.

O ALLAH,

If he’s the wrong person for me,

Show him the right way so that he can lead others instead.

Ya Allah,

Jika dia benar si dia untuk ku,

tetapkanlah hati dan pendirian kami agar bersatu,

Jika dia bukan untuk ku,

permudahkan lah jalan untuk kami berpisah tanpa sengketa,

agar tiada siapa yang terluka.

AMIN..

Why Are Girlfriends Jealous?

The main reason most girls are jealous is low self-esteem, insecurities, and lack of trust. Anyone can experience jealousy. Maybe she had a bad experience with a past boyfriend. Perhaps he cheated on her and she was really hurt over it. That would certainly cause problems of self-esteem.

One main reason girls tend to get jealous is over other girls, particularly ex girlfriends. They are worried that other girls might have something that they do not. Your girlfriend may feel that you could find other girls prettier, funnier, or smarter than she is. She may also be wondering if you still have feelings for your ex. All of these thoughts will lead to the fear that she could lose you. 

*So boys.. do understands us.

Dear you, yes you

Aidil Adha

Do teach me how to be strong before you go,

Teach me how to believe if you ever lie,

Teach me how to control my tears before I start to cry, 

And please.. 

teach me how to make you stay before , before you say good bye.

Do teach me all this pleaseee :')

And you know what dear,

I will make mistakes,

I will be the first to tell you I have flaws and I am not perfect.

But I will do the best to be the best girlfriend I could be and I will faithful and

Always put you after my family

And I am sorry sometimes I get a little jealous,

Thinking that someone else can make you happier than I could

I guess it’s my insecurities acting up,

Because I know I am not the prettiest, smartest or most fun and exciting girl.

But I do know that no matter how long and hard you look,

You will never find somebody that loves you..

Like I do. (:

Just For Today (:

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it

Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Bersabarlah wahai hati :')

Bukan aku tak cinta.

cuma belum sampai masanya.

sabarlah wahai hati.

Insya Allah kesabaran itu akan diganjari.

namun aku tidak menolak.

hakikatnya..

aku sangat merindui kamu.

kamu.

dan kamu.

namun maaf andai aku dilihat tidak mengambil tahu.

akan rasa hati kamu.

kerana aku tahu.

andai aku melayani rasa hati kamu dan aku.

ia hanya akan membinasakan kita.

kita. dan kita.

dan semestinya.

aku tidak mahu kamu binasa.

kerana aku sangat mencintai kamu.

 :)

Saat frust, ingat:

Sesungguhnya telah tercatat nama pasanganmu di Luh Mahfuz,

akan dihantar olehNya kepadamu bila dirimu telah bersedia…

Janganlah terlalu yakin bahawa kekasih yang kita ada itu adalah jodoh kita.

Buat apa membazir waktu “mencintai” seseorang yang belum tentu jodoh kita.

Sabar.

InsyaAllah kita akan memjumpai jodoh kita yang sesuai yang telah ditentukan oleh Allah swt.

:)

I Don't Hate You

Sorry it ended like this. And we'll never see each others eyes like ever before. I take the blame. I hurt you, and everybody. What can I say? I will never be the one who ever get what he wants. I'll always be the failure.

It's good to know you decide to move on. Don't ever wait! Because waiting for something that isn't worth waiting is just a waste of time. I wish you well.

I hope you hate me forever, because I don't want anybody to miss me. Don't ever give a thought about me. The simple rule of moving on I learn - forget the people.

Forget me forever, please.
-Ezwan

Note to self

• Everything is going to work out. Your dreams and hopes will find their place in this world.
• Smile freely. Your smile light up your face.Your smile is one easy way to make someone’s day.
• It will get better. Give yourself and life time.
• Your fears are only as powerful as you allow them to be. Don’t allow them to paralyze you from living your life.
• I know you get lonely but that doesn’t mean you are alone. There are so many people who love and need you. Loneliness comes and goes. It won’t stay forever.
• It’s okay not to be okay all the time.
• Don’t be afraid of the work ahead of you. That’s how you learn, how you grow, and most importantly how you get to where you want to be.
• Getting lost is how you get found.
• Don’t be afraid to take detours.
• Vulnerability is not weakness.
• Your life doesn’t revolve around a man. Your story is one about love of self before any other kind of love. Please don’t forget that.
• Your scars might not be physical but they are still there. They are a part of you. Reminders of internal battles you have won. Don’t ignore them or feel ashamed of them. They are a part of your story but they don’t define you.
• You are beautiful. Really, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. I know some days you don’t feel beautiful but even then YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Let yourself embrace your beauty. Don’t dampen it with negative thoughts or cruel words.
• If you don’t believe in yourself, and I mean wholeheartedly believe in yourself no one else will. You’ve got to have that faith and confidence in who you are, what you want, and how you choose to live. You have to believe in yourself. Your dreams, your talents, and your hopes for this life you have.
• Don’t just give good advices take it too. Teach and learn. Learn and teach.
• Do the things you love because you love them. Nothing else matters. Not compliments, recognition, acknowledgement, fame, or fortune. All that matters is how the things you love make you feel. Don’t shape what you love to fit into other people’s idea of what it should be. You are the painter, the canvas, the muse, the paintbrush, and the paint. You have all the ingredients to create something of your own.
• There are no bad days. Only bad moments.
• Choose your attitude wisely.
• Don’t limit your happiness. There is no definition of what it means to be happy. You decide what your happiness looks, feels, and sounds like. It’s up to you. It always has been.
• You are imperfect and that is a beautiful thing. Stop trying to deny that.
• Everything is not about you. Everything is not about them. Find a middle ground between those two extremes.
• Life is a give and take relationship. I hope you give more than you take.
• Everyone has to start at the beginning you are no exception.
• You are not broken. You are not shattered. You are not a lost cause.
• Your art matters. Whether it’s your poetry, stories, songs, or drawings they matter. You matter. No one has to tell you that for it to be the truth. Have faith in yourself and the things you do.
• You are loved.
• Don’t bottle your feelings inside.
• You are more than good enough. 
• Don’t hide your sorrows.
• Your life is meant to be lived.
• Don’t be anyone other than you.
• Take care of yourself. Mind, body, and soul.
• Make time for yourself to do some self pampering.
• Be the best version of you. The best you you can be.
• Mistakes and failure are not things to be ashamed of. They are the catalysts of growth and wisdom.
• You are the main character in your story, stop sitting on the sidelines.
• Laugh without restraint.
• Dream without worry.
• Love yourself the way you want to be loved by others.
• Breathe. In and out. Breathe.
• This is your time. Be who you want to be.

I'm sorry :'(

I’m sorry of being so emotional

I’m sorry of being so possessive

I’m sorry that I cry for you

I’m sorry because I can’t live without you

I’m sorry for the tears you shed

I’m sorry for the damage I made

I’m sorry I’ve made you sick

Sorry I hurt you so deep

I’m sorry for giving you sleepless nights

I’m sorry for each and every fight

I’m sorry for your pain & agony

I’m sorry for the missing harmony

I’m sorry for my selfish love

I’m sorry for not caring enough

I’m sorry for my restlessness

I’m sorry for the losing grace

I’m sorry I made you mad

I’m sorry darling you are so sad

Sorry for not giving you any happiness

Sorry because it’s my disgrace

I’m sorry for thinking of you so very much

I’m sorry I always miss your touch

I’m sorry of being so mad about you

I’m sorry for my every blue

I’m sorry of being so immature

I’m sorry now that can’t be cured

I’m sorry of being myself

I’m sorry that I’ve failed

I’m sorry and sorry again

I’m sorry of being insane

But believe me that I love you

Should I say sorry for that too?