Say Hello to Goodbye :')

Dear Mr. Mohamed Aidil Adha Bin Sharudian,

There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I'm not sure if you would ever understand because I don't understand half of it. I want to be with you so bad, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt and because of that, I end up getting hurt more. I can sit here and say that I don't care about you and that I'm not going to let you hurt me, and just by saying that I know that you can and have. It’s not your fault, it never is. It’s me. You've always loved her, now I can see that the one in your heart was never me. All of those times, you held me close, it was her that you needed and loved the most. It's hard for me to swallow my pride knowing that my love was the love you denied. When I see you with her, I force a grin but really my heart is breaking within. My love for you is stronger than ever but I know in my heart, we'll never be together. So I'm letting you go now with tears in my eyes, I'm telling you my last and final good-byes. I will miss you. Take care Aidil. Always pray the best for you.

Thanks for everything :')

CRY - Critical Riot Yelling

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on.
When people all stare, I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk.
Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue.
Pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.
If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart.
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart,
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all and act like there's nothing wrong
Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?

L

I'm talking in circles. I'm lying and they know it
Why won't this just all go away?
I’m tired with our memory.

Sometimes I find myself faking a smile just to get through the day.
I smile but deep inside I'm dying. Why can't you see? :'(
“A smiling face doesn't always mean a smiling heart"
#Note that please

Another one ending once again

I’m walking this road alone.

This life seems to be meaningless without his love.

Trying to go back.

To the things I used to do,

But it’s impossible

And all I get is his memories back again.

How should I do.? L
How to forget him and let him go?

I can’t swim, I can’t save myself

From the deepest ocean of loneliness.

SHE

She yells because she cares.

She cries because she’s frustrated.

She smiles out of no where because she’s thinking of you, even if you’re already there.

She scrunches her face because she’s about to explode.

She hits you because she wants to touch you.

She stares at you because she’s infatuated.

She calls every half hour because she misses you.

She lecturers you because she’s boss, not mom.

She kisses you because she wants to.

She asks you a question because she’s curious, not be annoying.

She wants to know where you are to be with you.

She calls just to hear your voice.

She walks beside you to hold your hand.

She sits close to you to lean on your shoulder.

She stands in front of you because she wants a hug.

Truth is, that girl loves you

And you know what baby, it’s me a.k.a Mia

 :’)

Pieces of me

The truth is I get jealous easily because what is mine is mine.

 I’m stubborn as hell, I say sorry too much.

I act like I don’t give a fuck because I care too much.

I over analyze the smallest of things and probably come off as a bitch to guard myself.

I’m the kind of girl that when I cry, I cry.

When I fall for someone, I fall too hard.

People tell me I’m too intense when it comes to emotions.

I’ll do anything to be around you.

I don’t always look perfect and sometimes I get insecure.

And I may have flaws, But I’ll love you better than anyone else could do.

Insyaallah <3

LIFE

As we grow up,

 We learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down probably will.

You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts.

You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them,

 And you’ll cry because time is flying by.

 So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely,

And love like you’ve never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, and no second chances.

You just have to live life to the fullest,

Tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out,

Dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend,

Fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt,

 And smile until your face hurts.

Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all,

 Live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back

No sympathy

I can write my own sad words

I don’t need yours

I am disgusting

My body is deteriorating

I am not beautiful

I am not special

I am no poetic or graceful

But

I have a fucking soul

That is full of empathy and compassion

I have fire it is entirely mine

And it is entirely invisible